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(资料图片仅供参考)

By Thedepressionoftrees

Dave from HR stumbled around, blood spilling from around his lips.

Turns out a razor blade in a burrito was enough to make him stop stealing lunches from the breakroom fridge.

人力资源部门的戴夫跌跌撞撞地走着，嘴唇周围溢出了血。

原来，卷饼里的刀片足以让他不再从休息室的冰箱里偷吃午餐。

2 

By daytimeinsomnia

After weeks of terror filled nights of seeing an imaginary monster, I finally put the finishing touches of filling my son's room with glow-in-the-dark stickers.

I turn off the lights to admire my handiwork when I notice a large area in the corner that isn't glowing, shaped like a body.

在经历了几个充满恐怖的夜晚，看到一个想象中的怪物之后，我终于把我儿子的房间贴满了夜光贴纸，完成了收尾工作。

我关上灯欣赏我的手艺时，发现角落里有一大片地方没有发亮，形状像一个身体。

3

By flanneur

As a fortuneteller, it's not good when you read a child's palm and see a short life-line.

So what does it say when every one I've read for three decades shows the same?

作为一个算命先生，当你看一个孩子的手相，看到一条短小的生命线时，这不是好事。

那么，当我三十年来所看的每一个手相都显示出同样的情况时，这说明什么呢？

4

By Jakeh74941

All of the forums I read said it was important to talk to your baby in the womb.

None of them told me she was going to talk back.

我读过的所有论坛都说，在子宫里和宝宝说话很重要。

他们都没有告诉我她会回答。

5

By TryHardKenichi

I've always known that my father hated me, so I wasn't surprised when he knocked me out and took the last lifeboat to save himself.

I only wish I could have been there to see his swollen and contorted face when he ate the emergency rations that I mislabeled and realized that I had his epinephrine.

我一直知道我父亲恨我，所以当他打晕我并且拿走最后一艘救生艇只为了自己时，我并不惊讶。 我只希望我能在场看到他吃下我错误标记为他的肾上腺素的紧急口粮时，他肿胀、扭曲的脸。

6 

By Ravmatur

I have a very good sense of when there's someone watching me.

Which is not a desirable skill in a room with theoretically nobody but you.

我对什么时候有人在看我有很好的感觉。

在一个理论上只有你一个人的房间里，这并不是一个理想的技能。

7 

By sugar-soad

She began to weep and begged me to reconsider, as I told her that it just wasn't working and asked her to get out of the car.

I felt terrible about ending our relationship like this after four years, but hoped that someone else might adopt her from the orphanage.

她开始哭泣，求我重新考虑，因为我告诉她，这根本行不通，并请她下车。

四年后，我对这样结束我们的关系感到很糟糕，但希望有人可能从孤儿院收养她。

8 

By brokensilence32

Because today’s work shift felt longer than usual, I checked my watch to see it was somehow still 10:45 after what felt like five hours.

I then looked to the door of my workplace and saw it as the fiery gate it truly was.

因为今天的工作时间似乎比平常更长，我查看了一下手表，发现过去五个小时后，时间仍然是10:45。 然后，我看向工作场所的门，看到它真正的模样，像是一扇通向烈火之门的门。

9

By Anamolly211

I tried my best not to eat anything with mold.

As the spores started to grow from my head, I knew it was only a matter of time before I became a mindless drone like the rest roaming outside.

我尽力避免吃任何有霉菌的东西。 但当孢子从我的头部开始生长时，我知道我只是时间问题，最终会变成像外面漫游的其他人一样毫无意识的僵尸。

10 

By Stranger7510

After the crash, I saw a man’s legs on the road in front of my car.

I feared I had run someone over, but then I recognized my shoes.

车祸发生后，我看到车前面的路上有一条人腿。

我担心撞到了人，但后来认出了我自己的鞋子。

The End

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